The Agony and the Ecstasy
Wherein our heroine reaches highs and takes her lumps as a first time author
Two conference weekends in a row for me! I went to AWP (the national conference for writing programs) and reconnected with my friends and mentors from my Bennington Writing Seminars where I received my MFA. Then last weekend I flew to Dallas to participate in the national conference for Free Mom Hugs (where I am the national educator).
Being on the main stage was scary, but fun. I presented on the reasons why community building between families who care for trans kiddos and their allies is critical right now (my next post will elaborate on why community building matters a lot for all of us, not just the trans community). And Nico Lang, the author of American Teenager, and I hosted a workshop together. Our assignment was to facilitate a conversation about how to take care of trans and nonbinary kids right now. Being at these conferences, presenting, being in community—these were my recent highs—my ecstasy, if you will. If you want to skip ahead to the agony, be my guest, for anyone who wants to read more about the success of the conference, read on.
Nico and I met on the morning of the workshop and decided to go with the no-plan plan, because we wanted to hear from participants (mostly not from California or other blue states) about what they needed. What we heard from across the country is that parents are scared and exhausted and managing a lot of uncertainty. In particular, people had a lot of questions about passports, which I wrote about recently for msnbc, and Nico, who has been in activist work for a lot longer than most of us moms of queer kids, provided incredible, practical advice. Being together confirmed one of my mantras of adulthood: DON’T WORRY ALONE.
Some of the most important advice that I learned in the session with Nico was that it’s important for parents and caregivers of trans kids to be in touch with our local advocacy groups like the ACLU and Lambda Legal. These groups can confirm the state of the local laws and human rights during this time of uncertainty. Also, he suggested that if any of us are afraid of what might happen at an airport, to call ahead and talk to someone at the airport about your questions and concerns. In addition, he recommended trans folks whose gender markers on their id docs have been reverted to their gender assigned at birth to give a heads up to TSA agents BEFORE handing them your id. The idea here is if you reduce their surprise, the experience is likely to go more smoothly.
Community is power. Information is power. Both together felt very protective this weekend.
THE AGONY
The agony is that even though I have had a lot of wins in March, selling books is a next level challenge in the life of an author. First you have to write the book, then it has to be good, then you try to get an agent, then the agent has to sell the book to an editor, then the book has to make it to print and then, dear readers, the author has to sell their books. This, like all the steps before, is an opaque process with no guarantee of success. Doesn’t that sound fun?!
What I learned this week was that Ingram, one of the major book distributors, had not pre-ordered my book, which means that most bookstores won’t pre-order my book. It never occurred to me that I would somehow have to figure out how to get Ingram (the middle man in all of book sales) to stock my book so that bookstores would stock my book. But here we are!
So I need to ask for your help. Please call your local independent bookstore and ask them to order my book. So that Ingram will stock my book so that other bookstores will order my book. Here’s a list of stores that I have already reached out to. If you see one that is your local, please call them and ask them to stock About Bliss. THANK YOU!
Keplers Books 1010 El Camino Real #100, Menlo Park CA (650)324-4321
Books Passage 51 Tamal Vista Blvd., Corte Madera CA (415) 927-0960
Books Inc. Town and Country Village, 855 El Camino Real #74 Palo Alto, CA 94301 (650)321-0600
Orinda Books 276 Village Square Orinda CA 94563 (925)254-7606
Boulder Bookstore 1107 Pearl St, Boulder, CO 80302 (303) 447-2074
No Where Book Shop 5154 Broadway San Antonio, TX 78209 (210) 640-7260
Gramercy Books 2424 E Main St. Bexley OH 43209 (614) 867-5515
Parnassus Books 3900 Hillsboro Pike #14 Nashville TN 37215 (615) 953-2243
Prologue Bookshop 841 N High St. Columbus OH 43215 (614) 745-1395
Humming Bird Books 55 Boylston St. Suite 5510 Chestnut Hill MA 02467 617) 487-5101
Elliott Bay Book Company 1521 10th Ave Seattle WA (206) 624-6600
The Valley Bookstore 140 E Broadway Ave Jackson Hole WY 83001 (307) 733-4533
Unabridged Bookstore 3251 N Broadway Chicago IL 60657 (773) 883-9119
Exile in Bookville 410 S. Michigan Ave 2nd Fl Chicago IL 60605 (312) 753-3154
Head House Books 619 2nd St Philadelphia PA 19147 (215) 923-9525
Copperfields 138 N Main St. Sebastopol CA 95472 (707) 762-0563
Three Lives 154 W 10th Street NY NY 10014 (212) 741-2069
Magic City Books 221 E Archer St. S Tulsa OK 74108
Green Feather Book Company 300 W Gray St. Suite 108 Norman OK 73069 (405) 857-7427
Charis Books & More 184 S. Candler St. Decatur, GA 30030 (404) 524-0304
Books on the Common 404 Main St. Ridgefield CT 06877 (203) 431-9100
House of Books 10 N Main St. Kent CT 06757 (860) 927-4104
Wellesley Books 82 Central St. Wellesley, MA 01482 (781) 431-1160
Belmont Books 79 Leonard St. Belmont MA 02478 (617) 932-1496
The Town Book Store 270 E Broad St. Westfield NJ 07090 (650) 321-0600
Newtonville Books 10 Langley Rd Newton MA 20459 (617) 244-6619
Kings English Bookshop 1511 S 1500 Salt Lake City UT 84105 (801) 484-9100
The Best Bookstore 180 E. Tahquitz Canyon Way Palm Aprings CA 92262 (760) 935-6467
Jabberwocky Bookshop 50 Waters St. #22 Newburyport MA 01950 (978) 465-9359
NOW FOR FUN PHOTOS FROM FREE MOM HUGS!
